Starting School: How to Prepare for the First Days
The first days of school are some of the more exciting and stressful times for parents or carers and kids. There is understandably a nervous energy that builds around beginning this new adventure. There can be a mix of anticipation and apprehension as your start to countdown the days before starting school. As a parent, you may be worried that your kid will feel overwhelmed by this new environment and all the things that will be expected of them. Perhaps you’re worried that they will miss you. Preparation is key to reducing anxiety around the unknown and central to building a positive school experience.
While this article focuses on the little ones, we’ve also put together a resource for those moving to high school.
During the summer holidays
Starting school is a major milestone but for many kids there can be anxiety around entering the schoolyard because they don’t know what to expect. They are used to the routines of family life and are unfamiliar with the rules and routines they will encounter within the classroom.
As this is a novel experience taking the time to ease your child into this new adventure will be well worth it.
Orientation - get to know the environment
In the months and weeks before the first day of school, provide your child with the opportunity to become familiar with their new environment. This will include showing them what the school entrance looks like, pointing out where the playground is or where will they find drinking fountains and how will they use them, where are the toilets, and what does a classroom look like.
If your child is already at an early childhood center they may have an opportunity to participate in a transition program.
If ‘big’ school is new, reach out to the administrators and ask if there is a transition program or an open day that you and your child can attend.
If a transition program or open day is not available, show your child where the school is, and explore the grounds on the weekend if that is possible.
2. Meeting their teacher
If you are able to take part in a transition program or open day you will have the opportunity to meet your child’s teacher. Create a moment to chat with the teacher with your child close by and let them see that you feel comfortable with this person. Let your kid know that their teachers are always there to help and this will make them less intimidating and more approachable.
If there is not a formal opportunity to meet the teacher, you may wish to speak with the school administrators and see if it is possible to arrange for a one-on-one opportunity to introduce yourself and your child.
3. Meet students in their class
Find out if there will be a student gathering day prior to the beginning of the school year. It can be helpful to see familiar faces on that first day in the classroom.
If you already know a child who will be attending ‘big’ school too, consider reaching out and arranging for a playdate. A familiar face can make the transition a little less scary.
4. After-school care
If your child will be attending after-school care this is a good time to make sure they understand how it works, where it will be and that you or another carer will be collecting them from this location.
5. Pick-up point
Make sure your child knows where you will be picking them up. This can give them a sense of security, knowing that someone will be ready and waiting for them.
6. Describe what happens during the school day
If your child is going to school for the first time it may be hard for them to imagine what it is going to be like. There will be routines and rules that are different to what they are used to at home. Talking to your child about a typical day will give them a better understanding of what to expect and make things less scary. Give them an idea of what may happen from the moment you drop them off to the moment you collect them.
Explain that there will be certain rules they will need to follow and why it is important to do so. For example, let them know that if they need to use the bathroom they will need to put up their hand and ask their teacher, they cannot simply leave the room because the teacher needs to know where they are.
7. Put together a morning and afternoon routine
Start to think about putting together morning and afternoon routines. Knowing what needs to be done to get out the door each morning reduces the stress the can rise when items are missing and time is ticking. You may consider putting together a visual check-list that your kid can refer to for things they need to do each morning.
By encouraging their participation they will start to learn self-management skills and you have something you can direct their attention to, ‘What do you need to do next to get ready?’ Allow plenty of time for each of you to eat breakfast, get dressed and get out the door. You may even consider having a song that gets everyone out the door in a happy mood!
An afternoon routine is also a good way to help them both prepare for the next day but also provides an ending to the school day. Get them used to emptying their bag, putting their lunchbox and drink bottle in the kitchen or putting their shoes and clothes away so they are easily located the next day. This is also a good time to share a snack and chat about how they are feeling and the things they did.
8. Buy supplies
Give your child control over what they can control as a way of calming nerves and building excitement. If possible let them select the pattern on their lunchbox or the color of their drink bottle. Involve them in shopping for any school supplies from uniforms to crayons, library bag to hat. Make this excursion an exciting and special event. Talk about how they might use the items you are purchasing.
The week before school
A trial run
It can be helpful to organise a trial run. That may include traveling to school, standing before the gates and pointing out the pickup location one more time.
2. Practice the things your child will need to do
It’s a good idea to get your kid to try on their school clothes or uniform before the first day. Let them practice doing up buttons, zips, buckles or laces and make sure everything fits. Get them to wear in new shoes.
Have them practice basic self-care activities like going to the toilet and comfortably unfastening and doing up their clothes, and washing and drying their own hands. The more comfortable they feel with these tasks the more their confidence grows.
Make sure they can easily open their lunchbox and water bottle and they know how to pack or unpack their backpack or school bag.
Make sure you’ve checked off everything that they need and this may include a clean set of underwear and change of clothes for possible accidents. This is also the time to label their items.
3. Keep a positive mindset
Keep calm, be positive and share their excitement. Acknowledge their feelings if they indicate that they are uncertain or worried about this new adventure but ensure you let them know that you will be there to help them every step of the way.
Don’t promise what you cannot guarantee. They may not make friends on the first day, and they may not enjoy every aspect of school. Instead, focus on building their confidence by preparing them as well as you can to reduce any concerns around the unknown.
First day of school
Plan ahead how you will say goodbye
Think about what your child needs to say goodbye. Is it a quick hug and a reminder that you will be waiting at the pickup point? Is it a cuddle and a ‘see you later alligator?’ Is it walking in with a buddy, if you are able to arrange this? Be happy and confident and send them on their way with a smile.
2. Be on time at pickup
Being on time will be key to ensuring they feel secure. This is also a good chance for you to introduce yourself to other parents or carers to begin to build your school community.
3. Be patient
You may want to know everything that happened in their day and they may want to tell you everything they did but they may also be exhausted and need some down time. Give them a snack when they get home, invite them to talk to you but don’t be disappointed if the conversation has to wait until they have recharged their batteries. When they are ready ask direct questions like, ‘What was your favorite activity?’
The first weeks of school
Settling in
It can take time for your child to settle in to their new routine. Being in a new environment, surrounded by strange faces and learning new rules can be very tiring. Keep talking to your kid and get a feeling for how they are coping. Be patient with energy and moods and flexible when they need you to be.
2. Friends
Don’t worry if they haven’t made instant friends, it’s not unusual for kids to interact with different children across the weeks. Give them time to get to know the other children. If you are concerned that perhaps they are feeling isolated or they are not being included, reach out to their teacher to voice your concerns and seek guidance.
3. Playdates
Playdates are a good way for your child to interact with children outside of the classroom. It’s also a good opportunity for you to get to know other parents or carers, a great resource as your child moves through the grades.
4. Reach out to their teacher
If you are ever concerned about how to support your child the best resource is their teacher. They will be a wonderful guide for supporting your child’s educational and emotional growth. Never hesitate to ask questions or talk about things that worry you.
The final word
Ensuring your child has the best possible start to school takes planning. Start the conversation around what to expect before they walk through the school gate. Give them an opportunity to build their confidence by mastering tasks that may seem simple, like opening a lunch box, but can be very stressful if it can’t be done. Try to remove what uncertainty you can and encourage them to see school in a positive light.